When massages go wrong.

It had been a long day. The drive from Kong Lor to Savannakhet wasn’t the shortest. We had stopped at a few places, but as I’m sure you’ll know if you have been to Laos, the roads are not fantastic. 5.5 hours on unsealed, pot hole infested tracks. But that’s all part of the fun of travelling Laos.

After arriving in Savannakhet, my first mission was to find food. Grabbing a steamed bun off a street vendor to find it was filled with egg was not a good start for me (I detest egg). But situation over and food in my belly, I took a walk around the town. An hour or so later I was exhausted so headed back to the hotel where there was a massage parlor attached.

I headed in with a few friends and my girlfriend. It was here that alarms should have started ringing but they did not. After handing over a large-ish amount of money, we were led down a dark dingy corridor and taken into rooms.

It was here that alarm bells should have rung again. The room was dark and dirty. The walls were the color white goes if you’ve been smoking in the room. Laying down on the bed I looked up to the ceiling and saw something odd. There was a hole in the partition wall to the next room and the AC unit was split between the 2 rooms. I could hear everything going on in the next room. A young girl walked in all bashful. It was about now I started to think the worst. I laid on my front and she started to massage my shoulders.

It wasn’t the most relaxing shoulder rub I’ve ever had. she worked her way down my back and it was here it got real weird. She proceeded to pull hairs out of my shins and thighs as well as having wandering hands. In the next room I could here my friend equally as shocked as me.

After jumping up off the bed and picking up my clothes, I ran out the room, bumped into my friend who had done the same, and further down the hallway found my girlfriend, who was having an equally weird time. we quickly left the building and found sanctuary in our hotel room.

It wasn’t until the evening we found out that it was a ‘karaoke’ massage place i.e. a brothel. Feeling quite embarrassed, we then realized why everything was different to the massage parlors we had previously visited.Everything then made sense. We headed to the bar slightly traumatized and never spoke of it again.

We never did get a massage in Savannakhet

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